Iraqi ex-dictator Saddam Hussein
al-Tikriti was recently
spotted at a döner
kebap restaurant in Istanbul carving
a succulent-looking tavuk (chicken) döner for
"I like it here!" said the
former brutal dictator. "There's
lots to see and do, and Turkish
cuisine is superb."
"I don't mind working," he
added. "Heck, keeping up all my palaces,
smiling through all those boring military
cabinet meetings, sitting
for hours while artists, photographers
and sculptors captured my masculine
essence, and riding herd on Uday and Qusay—those
little rascals!—was an awful lot harder."
A hungry customer approached and Saddam
interrupted his wistful reminiscence
to ask "Would you like that on
a plate garni, as a sandwich,
or rolled up in flat pide bread à la dürüm?"
"Besides," Saddam continued, "here
I'm a celebrity. Lots of people come
to the restaurant just to see 'The
Butcher of Baghdad' making
an honest living at his craft."
"Of course a lot of people are
turned off at the sight of me, but
I just tell them I'm one of Saddam's
"Y'all come back real soon now," he
concluded. "This nefis döner is